Are you struggling with getting people to speak to you? Turns out, there are some ways to make people like you that you may want to try. These strategies listed below have been tested and proven true by many people. I’ve been using them in my own life and the results have been amazing!
(This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of my links, I’ll receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you so much! Read our full disclaimer here.)
The most important way to make people like you is to smile. That’s because smiling is often times the first opportunity we can take to build a connection with someone. Instead of looking down or away, look at the person and smile.
A smile is a friendly way to say hello and usually, the person will smile back. By wearing a smile on your face, you’re giving the impression that you’re friendly and approachable.
To learn more about smiling, check out my post, “How Smiling Will Change Your Life And Transform Your Relationships.”
Remember A Person’s Name
When you meet someone and get their name, that’s a precious thing! Repeat it to yourself over and over trying to link their name with their face. Do you know why?
People love their name. They don’t always like the way it sounds or sometimes they wish they were named something else. But nonetheless, it’s unique to them and is part of their identity. Therefore, when you smile and greet someone by their name, it shows that they’re important.
You remembered them and it shows. It also lets them know that you view them as a person and not just a clerk or a worker.
Become Truly Interested In Others
An excerpt taken from As a Man Thinketh By James Allen:
“As brothers and sister, born of the same parents and being of one household, love each other through all vicissitudes, see no evil in each other, but overlook all errors, and cling together in the strong bonds of affection – even so the good man sees humanity as one spiritual family, born of the same Father-Mother, being of the same essence and making for the same goal, and he regards all men and women as his brothers and sisters, makes no divisions and distinctions, sees none as evil, but is at peace with all. Happy is he who attains this blessed state.”
The above statement impacted me so hard and changed my life forever. Imagine if we treated everyone the way we would treat a member of our family. We get so excited to see our siblings and are genuinely interested in them and how they’re doing.
If we take on the mindset that everyone is our brother/sister/cousin/uncle/aunt, we would want to see them succeed and will help them any way possible. We would show concern and express gratitude with them.
When someone knows that you truly care about them and their wellbeing, they will like you open up to you more.
Urge People To Talk About Themselves And Listen
If you want others to speak to you, ask them questions about themselves. Here’s a personal story. I had a job interview and was being interviewed by the store leader. He asked me about myself and I mentioned I was a mom. Then, he mentioned he was a father.
So I asked him how many kids did he have and their ages. He gladly shared with me the answers and began talking about his kids. Then, he caught himself and said, “Enough about me, let’s get to the interview.”
Do you see how people love to talk about their lives? When I find out someone has kids, I’ll always use that as a talking point. People will talk for hours about their kids.
But what if they don’t have kids? Well, here’s another story. This one girl that used to work with me was so tired. I noticed and she said she was working 3 jobs to pay her bills. I felt bad for her, wished her luck, and she kept walking.
Later in the breakroom, I asked her what bills did she have that was making her work that hard. Again, she opened up and gave me a list of all her bills and how much she owed. I was surprised she opened up that much, but I genuinely cared.
Once you have these conversations with people, the next time they see you, they’ll remember you and say hi. Asking questions is a great way to start a friendship.
Talk About What Interest Other People
Again, people will talk for hours about what they’re interested in. So find that out. What do they like and what are they into? I will say this one is a little more difficult and takes some time to figure out.
As you can probably tell, I’ve been practicing all these principles at work. Here’s a more recent story of when I applied this.
There’s this nice older fellow at work and I never really got the chance to talk with him. Then over time, I noticed he loves sports. He’s always talking about them. While we were in the breakroom I said, “You really love sports don’t you?” And I opened up a huge door. We had a really great conversation that I was almost late going back into work.
I used this same principle on another co-worker of mine. I overheard him talking to another employee about becoming a marine. My brother was a marine so that’s something I really respect. So while I passed him I said, “Did you say you wanted to be a marine?” And he went on about how all of his family is already in the military and he couldn’t wait to go.
Then at a later time, I asked when he was going to go into the military and started up that conversation again. Notice that these people are talking to me and sharing information all because I’m talking about the things they care about. I’m not sharing anything about myself unless they ask or unless I feel like it will strengthen the conversation. You can be sure that both of these guys smile and greet me every time they see me.
Genuinely Make Others Feel Important
Everyone loves to feel important. To that person, they are the most important thing in the world. Show it and express it to them. When someone gets a haircut, notice and tell them it looks good (people love that).
Look for the good in people. There are many times when we can find the bad so easily, yet there’s always something good about someone. What is that thing? Compliment it and show that you appreciate that thing.
There’s a golden rule to live your life by: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Express your gratitude and prefer others before yourself. Live unselfishly and you’ll be surprised at the response you’ll get.
Those are 6 great ways to make people like you. Did I miss any? Have you tried any of these? If so, please let me know how they worked or didn’t work for you?